At Least There Was No Cover

Town Pump

Dear Town Pump: In the future, please do not display a marquee as amazing as this and then follow through with such wedding reception hits as TLC's "Waterfalls" and the "American Idol"-ravaged "Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours." The hard-drinking dirtbag regulars who come in to slide your shuffleboard pucks and sit on your porch and lay waste to your Jell-o shots on karaoke night are expecting, if nothing else, a musical selection that moves their sneakers and doesn't banish them to the tiki bar out back. Seriously, some of us like to dance, in public and embarrassing fashion, and all it takes is a real melody, the sort of bass line that shatters your fillings or the sort of song crassly engineered solely to move your ass, and it doesn't take a whole lot to inspire us. Our bodies want to become the music. Just not worn-out or flaccid music.

Thank you.